There can be various reasons that can lead towards the bad relationship between spouses be it a man or a woman. We must always remember that a happy family or a healthy relation is not the one where there are not any problems, but how to deal with these problems and how to deal and treat with each other is the art as some scholars say it is the halaal (permissible) magic (this art).
The number one cause, due to the ignorance of each others rights. Husband may not aware of his wife’s rights that Islaam has given her and the vice versa. And this happens a lot in our own Muslim Communities and since our Mosques are also dead and this is the recipe for disaster.
The number two cause, usage of Haraam (forbidden) things in the home. Husband may be earning haraam and doing a haraam job or he may be doing a halaal job but dealing in things like bride etc. Also this includes that, husband may be having a job in interest based banks or he may be having a business of things which consists of haraam things like of cigarettes and other haraam products. Once this money is earned and is used for a family, that is the time when Shaytaan enters and lives with them in peace.
The number three cause, less tolerance level. As Muslims we know that for any human being to enter the Jannah, he/she must be among the patient and he/she must have tolerance apart from other 3 things mentioned in Soorah Al-Asr. But we always see this thing missing in ourselves and in our families that there is no sense of forgiveness and they are so much intolerant towards each other.
The number four cause, anger mood. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) always used to remind people that don’t remain angry. He (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told people that when you see yourself becoming angry, ask protection from Shaytaan because anger is from Shaytaan and drink water, make Wudoo’, eatablish two raka’ah of salaah and the process is on so that you kill anger. We must learn the anger management, this is must for every Muslim men and women.
The number five cause, lack of Islaamic environment in home. If your home does not have weekly family gathering to understand each other in the light of Islaam, then know! you are going to ruin your family.
The number six cause, presence of haraam things in home. When a family get together to watch a TV serial and they enjoy this, know that your family is not free anymore but Shaytaan has taken over it. And we cannot say, “I just watch news on CNN” or “I just watch Islaamic serials”, these are just lies and excuses to run aways from the reality that you’re facing or you will face in future.
There are many other causes, but if we can overcome these 6, we have done a lot of benefit to our families inshaa-allaah!
Sheikh Danish Riyaz
Peace be upon you for these wonderful teachings.