Q: How can I know if my virginity is intact (note that I have not been subject to any sexual molestation, al-hamdulillah)? The problem is that I get really strong urges, so I satisfy my desire on my own. Now I’m afraid to get married and find out that my virginity is gone. Please help me. Don’t tell me to go to a doctor because that would be impossible.
by Dr. Hatem al-Haj
All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessing be upon the Messenger of Allah. To proceed:
Dear sister,
I do not know how it would be possible to be sure of that without a medical exam; however, if what you were doing was reaching a climax by rubbing the clitoris, this does not cause the loss of your virginity. If, on the other hand, you were reaching a climax by inserting something into the vagina, then you should not have been doing that while you are a virgin. If you did in fact do that, see a female doctor to check, for there is no other way to know. If the doctor tells you that you have broken your hymen, then tell whoever proposes to you that you have not committed the major sin of zina and perhaps he will understand and accept anyway. The loss of your hymen is not proof that you are not a virgin, for it can be broken by trauma and other things of the sort. As such, fiqh scholars are in consensus that zina cannot be proven merely by the absence of the hymen. Are you allowed to undergo hymenoplasty? Yes, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions, because you have not fallen into the major sin of zina, because covering up the sins is prescribed by Shari`ah, and because ethnic customs could expose you to some sort of harm even though you are innocent of fornication. Corrective surgery is not permissible according to the opinion of many scholars for anyone who has actually committed zina since that would involve fraud and deceit.
And Allah Almighty is the Most High, and He knows best.
